Discordian Metaphysics
I, for one, don't understand this tendency of people (most often scientists) to try to ``unify'' things. If you insist on only talking about H₂O, you miss all the fun of water gun fights and ice skating, if you take my meaning (don't concern yourself overmuch if you don't, though).
      To go a bit against the grain alcohol, we try to make one thing into as many different things as possible (or just give a whole slew of different things the same name; whichever is more feasible in the given situation). Here, then, are metaphysics and metaphysics.
      Have yerself a party.