Akashic Records

In (at least one piece of) Buddhist literature, the Akashic Records are also known as ``nature's memory.'' According to Kerrie Mercel's Spiritual Dictionary, it contains the story of every person's lives (past and future) as well as ``a record of all events that pertain to the earth plane.'' The Morgan's Tarot gets a bit closer, stating that ``The Akashic Records contain the entire cosmic drama in all its dimensions, including the future and the past. The records are available to the psyche of the reader and various portions of them can be tapped. For further information,'' it concludes in a bizarrely apt manner, ``please consult the head librarian located somewhere in the main library.''
      The Akashic Records are, as Lord Omar once suggested (well, at least it looked like such a suggestion to me), the storehouse of all knowledge. Not only the events, but the literature, philosophy, physics and metaphysics not only of the earth plane, but of many planes. Therein can be found the answer to any question. Well, it's possible to find the answer, anyway. It isn't in the slightest bit easy.
      The Akashic Record may well be called the Library -- a Universal Library as defined (and ultimately trivialized) in W. V. Quine's Quiddities and envisioned by Borges in The Library of Babel.
      It is a metaphysical place, accessible only to Popes on Unofficial Discordian Monkey Business, largely because only Popes are hip to the Curse of Greyface and will notice when he starts whispering in their ears. ``All the answers are here,'' he will say. ``Don't you want to know everything?'' Once you get caught up in believing that there are answers, you're that much more likely to get caught up in believing that they matter, and then you're that much more likely to get caught up in looking for them. Once that happens, you can get trapped. Once forgotten, the doorway out stops being there. That, incidentally, is where all the librarians in Borges' story came from. Lost Popes all, who have forgotten their way home in favor of their quest for knowledge. oh time thy pyramids. Poor buggers.
      Howe'er, for the Popes who keep their asses firmly in sight, there are lots of fun things that can be found in the Akashic Records (as viewed through the beady eye of the Pineal Gland) -- stories, metaphysical wackiness, jokes -- the whole shebang. In fact, I copied everything in HyperDiscordia right from the Akasha (well, except for the stuff that, in true Discordian tradition, was shamelessly plagiarized [but, then, everything ever written is already in the Akashic Records someplace, so it's not actually plagiarism, really. No, really]), editing ever so slightly for content. You should go and do likewise.