The Five Apostles of Eris & Who They Be
- 1. HUNG MUNG
-
A Sage of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the Heathen
Chinee. He who originally devised
The Sacred Chao. Patron of the
Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.
- 2. DR. VAN VAN MOJO
-
A Head Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor of Hoodoo
and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda Jesus Will Save Your Bod
Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P., Fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian
Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron of the
Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19.
[NOTE: Erisians of The Laughing Christ sect are of the silly contention that
Dr. Mojo is an imposter and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second
Apostle.
Lord Omar
claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon Patamunzo, who sends
only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the
POEE
sect know that Patamunzo is
the Real Imposter, and that those vibrations of his are actually an attempt to
subvert Dr. Mojo's rightful apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.]
- 3. SRI SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI
SYANNASTI SYADASTI CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVATAVYASCA SYADASTI
SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA commonly called just SRI SYADASTI
-
His name is Sanskrit, and means: ``All affirmations are true in some sense, false
in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true
and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true
and false and meaningless in some sense.'' He is an Indian Pundit and Prince,
born of the Peyotl Tribe, son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw
Merry Jane. Patron to psychedelic type Discordians. Patron of the
Season of Confusion. Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri
Syadasti should not be confused with Blessed
St. Gulik
the Stoned, who is not
the same person but is the same Apostle.
- 4. ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes
called
ZARATHUD THE STAUNCH
-
A hard nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger (after
his enlightenment,
that is). Dubbed ``Offender of The Faith.'' Discovered the
Five Commandments.
Patron of the
Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12
- 5. THE ELDER MALACLYPSE
-
A wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania (``Med-Terra'' or middle earth), who
followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of Rome, Damascus, Baghdad,
Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign that seemed to read ``DOOM.'' (This is
a misunderstanding. The sign actually read ``DUMB.'' Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.)
Patron and namesake of Mal-2. Patron on the
Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24.
``All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in
some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense,
false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some
sense.''
-- A public service clarification by the Sri Syadasti School of
Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette. |
``The teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of Spiritual
Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense,
true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and
meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.''
-- Patamunzo Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.
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