The Honest Book of Truth
being a Bible of The Erisian Movement
and How it was Revealed to Episkopos
Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst,
Goose of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church Invisible of the Laughing
Christ, Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus, Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch
From the Honest Book of Truth
The Book of Explanations, Chapter 1
Other Chapters of the Honest Book of Truth revealed to Lord Omar are
The Book of Uterus
There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a Messenger of
who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was buried an Honest Book.
And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that
ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in
it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and,
lying in the Truth,
become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men
and a Scribe to the Gods.
So Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of Mullah, and
thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days and five nights, but
found no book.
At the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass that
Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and bedded himself down on
the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest he had uncovered on the first day of
On the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and there
came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in the Dream a
Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove wherein was hidden a
And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the Stash,
that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and, sharing it, love in it
and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the Stash, become a Poet of the
Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the
But Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit, man? What
care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the Inspiration of all men?
Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to the Gods when the Scribes of the
Governments do nothing, yet are paid better wages?
And, lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the Ground by an
Invisible Hand and did not arise for five days and five nights.
And it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreamt, and in his Dream he
had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a Messenger of Our Lady
who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box containing many filing cards, some
of them in packs with rubber bands around, and upon these cards were sometimes
written verses, while upon others nothing was written.
Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest Book of Truth
to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The Land and Lay it before
Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage. Preach from it unto the Righteous,
that they may renounce their ways and repent.