Pope Icky Fundament, PZK
Long, long ago, when Pope Icky Fundament, PZK was known only as Chris Rywalt, the
signs of his future (now past; come on, keep up with the temporal context)
conversion were obvious to all who were looking (nobody was; this is
immaterial). Some Normal dared to posit ``Nobody is icky, ok???'' and sent a
monstrous pulse through the soon-to-be Ickster's
This is what came pouring out:
WRONG! I am icky. I am the definition of icky. I am the end-all-
be-all of ickiness. Icky is me. I not only partake of ick, but I
am the form from which all ick is derived. I am the alpha of icky
and the omega of icky. Before me there were none icky, after me there
shall be none as icky. Icky has found in me the pinnacle of its
adjectivity. The personification of icky is I. When men speak in
hushed tones of icky past, I shall be the hallowed one. I, in short,
am not only icky, but Icky. Fear me! Revile me! Worship my
Ickiness! Compare thy puny ick to my Ick, my Icky, my Ickiness, my
Icktitude! Next to my grandeur of Ick, it is as if all were ickless.
Talk not of Ick, or even of ick, without mentioning my name. I am
the Ickmaster, the Icky One, the Bringer of Ickness, the Bearer of
That Which Cannot Be Named But Is Most Certainly Icky. Call me by
my many names, and I shall anoint thee with Ick, and become an
Initiate of Icky. One day, perhaps you will, with devotion, become
the Apostate of Icky, and be blessed with my eternal Ick.
Be one with my holy Ick! Follow me! Be ICKY!
The world would not ever be the same again.
The Ickmeister's most recent Discordian project is the critically-acclaimed
Book of the Lives of the Saints
(well, it was pretty well received, anyway. I liked it).
To wander through some of Pope Icky's most recent obsession (for which the
Book of the Lives of the Saints has been languishing), zip to the
Pope Icky (under the guise of Chris Rywalt, mild-mannered [if occassionally
cranky] Computer Consultant) maintains his very own HyperText doc, which
I have graciously included a
You may notice a striking stylistic similarity between the portrait of
him that appears in this doc and the one he made for his own. This is not in
any way a significant coincidence; in the tradition of Malaclypse the Younger
Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst,
I shamelessly stole it from him.