Logic
``It is impossible to argue against logic because, in any argument, you must use logic.''
      Sure, but in using this argument, you must assume logic, hence begging the question, and around we go.

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Logic is one of those funny things (like a whoopee cushion, but not very). If you try to prove it to be true, you find that you have to assume it first, and can't escape a circular argument (which has no validity). If you try to refute it, you have to use it, which means you have to accept it. To paraphrase the ever-immortal Sri Rash Neesh Kramer (who used to sit in the smellier corners of Stuyvesant High School, dispensing wisdom to anyone who could track him down), who once used this metaphor to describe friction -- logic is basically the universe's way of giving you the finger; any way you try to go, it gives you a hard time.
      This makes logic a metaphysical Obstinate Inanimate Object (and also a Galloping Oxymoron [what with the whole ``metaphysical object'' thing happening], but that's a different topic). We should therefore follow the Goode Lord Omar's advice and holler at it when it starts being a pain in the ass (which may be Buriden's Ass, but any old ass will do in a pinch). Can't solve that equation that your clenched sphincter of a calculus professor gave? Bitch out math, not the professor. Bitching out the professor won't get you anything but (in all likelihood) 15 points taken off the next time you miss a minus sign on a test. If enough of us bitch at math, we just might get it to be more friendly.