One of the most intellectually stimulating, informative, inspirational, fun
(and, therefore, holy) activities we
can engage in is the giving
and receiving of strange, amusing and sometimes irritating notes and letters
through the domain of
(the Post Office, that is) -- The Comicsacred Write of Abnormail. What makes
Abnormail so Blessed is its relative ease -- all it takes is a letter, a stamp,
a sense of humor and a little creativity -- which is why
will never co-opt it.
Abnormail can be divided into two basic types:
Eristic Abnormail -- that is, mail to other weird people. A small
fraction of this is actually ``useful'';
cross-pollination -- new ideas, addresses, news that won't be found on the 6
o'clock news, etc. Unfortunately, the majority of Eristic Abnormail is nothing
but inane gossip, masturbatory in-jokes, trivial
variations of stale dogmas, snide put-downs of those not weird in exactly the
same way as ``us,'' and similar such garbage ad nauseam; and that's good, too!
Considering that the slaves and dupes of Greyface have us outnumbered one
thousand to one, we need all the help we can get to maintain our ``faith'' --
``We Discordians must stick apart.'' -- Malaclypse the Younger, O.P.O.V.I.G.
As usual, Mal-2 had it right. There is safety in numbers, but, lamentably,
there is also smugness, intolerance and stagnation. For us to congregate could
be disastrous, due to the perils of Mob Psychology; but by the miracles of
modern technology, we can ``stick apart,'' yet stay in touch, plan our pranks and
argue without succumbing to the curse of the legions of Greyface known as
Military Intelligence -- the well-known tendency of groups to be even dumber
than their stupidest member.
``Divided we stand -- United we fall.'' -- Sir Realist, Offender of the Faith
``No, it's good that we should stay small and work towards our goals in a
multitude of ways. Look at it from `Their' point of view; if all you've got is
an elephant gun, which would you rather be attacked by -- one 300-pound lion or
300 one-pound rats?'' -- some union organizer
The other type of Abnormail is, obviously, Aneristic Abnormail -- weird
things sent in fun to those still trapped in the
Region of Thud.
Emissionary attempts are collected under the collective aegis of Operation
Mindfuck's best-known branch, Project Jake. (For more info on O.M., read The
Illuminatus! Trilogy.) For maximum benefit, a good Jake should be in
response to a particularly gross manifestation of the Aneristic Delusion, not
merely intended to chastise, but to teach and amuse as well (or else make them
hopping mad). The best Jakes involve a lot of Discordians, all conspiring to
contact the subject on Jake Day -- a shining example of Discordian accord, as
paradoxical as that sounds.
``Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!'' -- J.R. ``Bob'' DobbsTM