and I have exchanged quite a bit of mail on various subjects, and at one point
he made the observation (albeit a bit sarcastically; he was discussing
at the time) that ``With sufficient faith, you see, anything is possible.''
Well, I started writing a response with the sentence ``Truly, with Faith are all
things possible...,'' with no idea at all where I was going to go with it.
As usually happens at times when I free my mind to the teachings of Chaos,
instructed me. Following is an (ever-so-slightly-edited) excerpt from the
letter I sent to Lord Omar.
Truly, with Faith are all things possible -- it allows me, for example, to
believe that your
is the Absolute Truth despite the fact that I know
there's no such thing, and that spawned the Philosophical Dilemma that
has roosted in your metaphysical cuckoo clock (I guess that makes me a
Faith has come to be greatly misunderstood over the millennia, and it's about
time that someone set the record straight. Faith is an absolute, unreasoning
belief in something. My belief in the absolute truth of your Doktorin is one
example, but, more interestingly, so is the belief in an omnipotent
Such a being could do, literally, anything. Make a rock so big he couldn't lift
it, and then go ahead and lift it and not lift it simultaneously. No problem.
Now, no one could possibly believe that you could lift and not lift
something at the same time, especially if it's so big that you can't lift it in
the first place. That doesn't phase a Christian, though. He knows that a
belief in omnipotence results in logical contradictions, but that doesn't shake
his belief that god is omnipotent. To believe something that you
know to be impossible -- that is Faith, in its original,
unpolluted and completely absurd form. This, like all happy insanities, is a
gift from the Lady of Discord and forms the heart of all the
of the world.
The problem that cropped up is, yet again, due to the influence of the Stinky
Finger of Thud, known as ``Reason'' to those who are amenable to it (I'd blame
by name, but you seem to get flustered when I do that, so I won't, even though
we both know that it's his fault for trying to impose Order on belief). If you
go and tell a Christian that he's completely lacking in common sense by
believing that ``omnipotent being'' balderdash (complimenting him on his
abundance of Faith, obviously), he'll get all sorts of cheesed off at you and
tell you at length how you're going to burn in Hell and what sorts of orifices
the demons are likely to stick hot pokers in (which
just goes to show you the kind of imagination a person can get if you tell him
that almost every use of imagination he can come up with will land him in hot
water. He piles tons of shit on his imagination to try to hold it down, you
see. Unfortunately for him, imagination pumps taboos like Arnold
Schwarzenegger [there's one that I wish was in the spelling checker] pumps iron
and eventually gets very strong and very ill-tempered [due to all the
metaphysical testosterone]). This lack of joy in the
of his own absurdity
serves to distance him from the happy anarchy of Eris and becomes a blecht
(like a blight, only yuckier) upon the land.
This, then, is why Discordians distinguish our True Faith from its corrupted
form by calling it, in proper Erisian fashion, ``No Faith.''
May the Madness always find you,
Keeper of the Truth,
(rip off my tag line, will ya),
Crypt Five Kicker
(``Wake up, Thornley!''),
and All-Around Wacky-Toon