The CSEA Affair
Truth be told, it all started out innocently enough (as these sorts of things
tend to; you never know what can be siezed upon and complexified, usually by
some knucklehead trying to make sense where none is [or should be] present).
Chaplin IM False
Legion of Dynamic Discord,
KSC (Keeper of the
that is), etc. was informed that
California School Employee Association
would be extracted from her paycheck in order to pay for collective bargaining
done by the CSEA for all members of Santa Monica College.
That is, unless she could prove that her religion prohibits her from being part
of an employee organization by offering an affidavit from her church.
Chaplin False immediately contacted
Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst
that he provide the
since he was co-founder of the religion and all. He agreed, and in addition
called for an
on the CSEA itself in order to show them just how established
Letters of hearfelt support came sailing in from
across the globe (well, they might have; at least, you don't know that
they didn't, so at least indulge my poetic vision), including mine.
The good Chaplin's own mother even took the time out of her busy day to send
to the CSEA on her daughter's behalf. What sort of inhuman monsters could
turn their backs on such anguished pleas for mercy (yeah, I'm indulging myself
The CSEA, predictably, remained obstinate, claiming that the Discordian Society
itself has ``employee organizations as part of its internal structure'' as stated
in the introduction to the Principia Discordia (the only thing on the
referenced page which has even the possibility of being so ridiculously misread
is the word ``subdisorganizations'').
The CSEA even went so far as to claim that, since there is no specific
mention made in the Principia pertaining to employee organizations, then
the Discordian Society can clearly not be too averse to them (Lord Omar
made William Heath [the legal counsel in charge of the CSEA's end of this
particular pointy stick] a member of the Discordian Society for this, in a
which I have, apparently, included for your perusal).
Chaplin False is presently consulting with a lawyer over this situation (the
enemy of my enemy may not necessarily be my friend [especially when the enemy
of my enemy is a lawyer], but anyone who will stand up and be counted with us
on this matter (and who is thus showing admirable disregard for both career and
sanity) can't be all bad.
Well, Chaplin IM False did, indeed, go to see the friendly folks at the Equal
Employment Opportunity Commission in LA. The EEOC thinks that Chaplin False
has a good case against the CSEA (well, she does, but fancy a government
agency to notice). The bozos (at the CSEA; the bozos at the EEOC are presently
our friends, recall) were sent a very scary looking document (in one of
those government-style ugly fonts) which informs them that Chaplin False has up
to one year to actually bring the charges against them, and that the EEOC will
then investigate the case if she should do so (this should scare them nicely;
I mean, the EEOC thinks that Chaplin False has a good case [because they're
taking it] and, you will note, they get to decide it, too. It's kinda
nice to be on the comfy side of the burning stake. I can see why the
Christians like it). She has decided to hold off on it for now, because
she'd rather not have her life centered around a court case if she can help it.
The next move, as they say, is theirs (``theirs'' referring to the CSEA, ``they''
referring to whoever the Hell it is that keeps saying these assinine things).
Chaplin False sent a copy of the formal charge to the Chief Business Officer
and the Head of Payroll at Santa Monica College (where she works) and requested
that any disputed funds be put in escrow. It would seem that the college
itself has no wish to entangle itself directly in this matter, and have not yet
responded to her nor extracted any funds from her paycheck. Better yet, if the
CSEA or Santa Monica College give her any grief over this, she can file
The battle is ongoing; I'll let y'all know something as soon as I do.