Erisian Magic Ritual - The Turkey Curse
Revealed by the
Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo
as a specific counter to the evil
Curse of Greyface,
THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to Erisians everywhere for their just
protection.
The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that Greyface and
his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to function and that a
timely introduction of eristic vibrations will neutralize their foundation
(see
Psycho Metaphysics
for more details on what ``eristic'' and ``aneristic'' mean).
The Turkey Curse is designed solely to counteract negative aneristic vibes and
if introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a poet
working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at worst, simply
annoying. It is not designed for use against negative eristic vibes, although
it can be used as an eristic vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a
misguided eristic setting. In this instance, it would be the responsibility of
the Erisian Magician to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to
be achieved.
CAUTION -- All magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity
on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can backfire. Positive
motivation is essential for self-protection.
To Perform the Turkey Curse:
Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for fisticuffs.
Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or towards the
direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize.
Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner and make motions with your hands
as though you were a Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and
clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
The results will be instantly apparent.
For yet more insights into the nature of Erisian Magic, take a gander at the
POEE
document on
occultism, the Paper Clip Sacrifice
and some invocations/dismissals suggested by some of our friends of the
Neopagan
persuasion.