Erisian Warfare

No religion can last for long without some sort of Jihad to hold the peoples' attention, and Discordianism is no different.
      However, as a whole, we find car bombs, bodily dismemberment and torture to be in very poor taste, so our options are rather limited. Also, we try to do what we can to keep some kind of logical consistency between our actions and our morals (I'll wait while you get that out of your system. Okay? C'mon, breathe. Think sad thoughts or something. Okay? Okay). In short, we wouldn't feel right if we (taking a completely hypothetical example, mind you; just something off the top of my head), say, preached peace, love and forgiveness and then went about burning people at the stake as heretics. I mean, what would the neighbors think?
      We believe that confusion and insanit ...er... ``unbridled joy'' are good things, so our particular brand of warfare centers around delivering those things to the stuck-up clamped anii that so desperately need them (members of The Orders of Discordia, that is).
      The two most popular and successful forms of Erisian Warfare are Guerrilla Surrealism (which is not to be confused with Transcendental Terrorism [and neither of them will even be seen in the same room with the Flustered Militant Dadaists of the New Pomegranate, to be sure]) and Abnormail Assaults. In addition to personal assaults, we often combat the establishment as a whole by fnording dollar bills.
      Included herein for your protection during your Holey Work is the most jealously guarded of all Erisian Mystical Ceremonies -- the Turkey Curse.
      We're presently embroiled in a legal battle, which is detailed in a report I've entitled The CSEA Affair.
      Be careful not to confuse actual Enemas of the People with the poor, hapless victims of Shub Shibboleth. You should also be on the lookout for people who are not under the influence of either THEM or the Horrid Shub, and do what you can to convert them.