The CSEA Affair

Truth be told, it all started out innocently enough (as these sorts of things tend to; you never know what can be siezed upon and complexified, usually by some knucklehead trying to make sense where none is [or should be] present). The Good Chaplin IM False of the Legion of Dynamic Discord, KSC (Keeper of the Sacred Chao, that is), etc. was informed that California School Employee Association fees would be extracted from her paycheck in order to pay for collective bargaining done by the CSEA for all members of Santa Monica College. That is, unless she could prove that her religion prohibits her from being part of an employee organization by offering an affidavit from her church.
      Chaplin False immediately contacted Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst and requested that he provide the affidavit, since he was co-founder of the religion and all. He agreed, and in addition called for an Abnormail Assault on the CSEA itself in order to show them just how established Discordianism is.
      Letters of hearfelt support came sailing in from across the globe (well, they might have; at least, you don't know that they didn't, so at least indulge my poetic vision), including mine. The good Chaplin's own mother even took the time out of her busy day to send a telegram to the CSEA on her daughter's behalf. What sort of inhuman monsters could turn their backs on such anguished pleas for mercy (yeah, I'm indulging myself again)?
      The CSEA, predictably, remained obstinate, claiming that the Discordian Society itself has ``employee organizations as part of its internal structure'' as stated in the introduction to the Principia Discordia (the only thing on the referenced page which has even the possibility of being so ridiculously misread is the word ``subdisorganizations'').
      The CSEA even went so far as to claim that, since there is no specific mention made in the Principia pertaining to employee organizations, then the Discordian Society can clearly not be too averse to them (Lord Omar made William Heath [the legal counsel in charge of the CSEA's end of this particular pointy stick] a member of the Discordian Society for this, in a wonderful letter which I have, apparently, included for your perusal).
      Chaplin False is presently consulting with a lawyer over this situation (the enemy of my enemy may not necessarily be my friend [especially when the enemy of my enemy is a lawyer], but anyone who will stand up and be counted with us on this matter (and who is thus showing admirable disregard for both career and sanity) can't be all bad.
      Well, Chaplin IM False did, indeed, go to see the friendly folks at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in LA. The EEOC thinks that Chaplin False has a good case against the CSEA (well, she does, but fancy a government agency to notice). The bozos (at the CSEA; the bozos at the EEOC are presently our friends, recall) were sent a very scary looking document (in one of those government-style ugly fonts) which informs them that Chaplin False has up to one year to actually bring the charges against them, and that the EEOC will then investigate the case if she should do so (this should scare them nicely; I mean, the EEOC thinks that Chaplin False has a good case [because they're taking it] and, you will note, they get to decide it, too. It's kinda nice to be on the comfy side of the burning stake. I can see why the Christians like it). She has decided to hold off on it for now, because she'd rather not have her life centered around a court case if she can help it.
      The next move, as they say, is theirs (``theirs'' referring to the CSEA, ``they'' referring to whoever the Hell it is that keeps saying these assinine things).
      Chaplin False sent a copy of the formal charge to the Chief Business Officer and the Head of Payroll at Santa Monica College (where she works) and requested that any disputed funds be put in escrow. It would seem that the college itself has no wish to entangle itself directly in this matter, and have not yet responded to her nor extracted any funds from her paycheck. Better yet, if the CSEA or Santa Monica College give her any grief over this, she can file harassment charges.
      The battle is ongoing; I'll let y'all know something as soon as I do.